An Old Family Photograph

This blog entry goes out to my Aunt Vonnie over in Circle with my sincerest apologies for not blogging in the recent past. For those of you interested in the identities besides Vonnie and me, her children are on my grandmother's knee and directly in front of her right knee while Aunt Judy's children are situated upon my grandfather's right knee and directly in front of it. The cute little blond guy on Grandpa's left knee is the author composing this piece. I am not sure why my gaze seems to be drifting somewhere out into space but I'm either developing my now current fear of crowds or more than likely I just committed a "doodle" in my snappy polyester leisure pants that my mother had so much fondness for. Dear God I was always dressed like Bobo the circus monkey as a child but mother always reminds me that it was "stylish" in those days. Combine my pants with that bowl haircut and I make the perfect poster boy for a tour guide of the upper Appalachians and its numerous banjo festivals. Do take note of the cowboy boots because THAT would make grandpa proud. He was as western and bronc tough as it gets so I think the boots gave me the pass to crawl aboard his knee. He would have preferred we wear western snap shirts though.

Check out my grandmother's menacing stare directed towards Melissa Marie in her infant state. Grandma had little patience for screaming grandchildren until they reached their teenage years. There is a photo of her holding each of her grand kids with this look and thank God for her that child protective services was in its infancy stages during those years. I think she commonly locked several of us under the age of 8 away in a basement at times because quite frankly it simply drove her nuts. It still shocks me that little Melissa is a grown up mother herself with two great kids of her own. It is a little sad that Melissa's kids are well-behaved because Melissa and brother Ross certainly weren't. In high school Ross was the smartest guy I knew and always the guy in control at parties and other gatherings of miscreant behavior. Ross never lost control or poise; he simply watched and laughed as others did. Their sister LeeAnn was always sweet and just enough older than me that I don't remember many of her mischievous deeds as a youngster.

Next to me on Grandpa's right knee is my cousin Jeff. He too appears to be intellectually enthralled with the moment and cannot wait to scamper away from the picture. Annette is the auburn-haired girl in front of Grandpa's right knee. She is the oldest of the grand kids and as I remember the best behaved and certainly the most poised and quiet. This photo must have been snapped only a month or two before the birth of Jeff and Annette's sister Jody. Jody and Melissa are in the same class and we must have just missed her for this picture. My sister Tara was a year from coming into the picture as well. It seemed like a kid producing competition for a couple of years. Can you imagine Grandma's mood if she had to hold two infants on her lap? I believe that's a photo that may have never happened. Ross would have to sit near me and a physical altercation surely would have commenced. We are in the same graduating class as well but take note of my far superior level of class and sophistication. Ross is wearing a diaper with no pants on! How embarrassing! Even more sad for Vonnie is the fact that Ross still moves through public like that to this day. If you ever gaze upon a lean cowboy astride a dusty sorrel in the Deer Lodge valley and note that the rider is well outfitted except for a pair of Wranglers gone amiss, that's my cousin Ross. Don't bother telling him he's not wearing pants because we think he likes it that way.

Later (in the 80's) Uncle Tom and LeRoy's kids came along. Tom had three boys and LeRoy a girl and boy respectively. If Grandma had to manage this bunch at one time I'll guarantee you you'd see a bevy of Keystone Light cans littering the floor as the edge was taken off. My Mom and Dad added a little chimp (Brittany) in 1983 and Aunt Judy added Trevor around 1989.

Grandpa passed in 1984 and Grandma in March 2007. It's interesting to look at this old photograph with nostalgia and even more interesting to look at the lives and history of those in the picture complete with each individuals progression through the years. We are a close family and I would dare to say closer than a lot of families I've observed over the years. As I grow older it becomes more important to me and I'm grateful for all of them. I just wish we could get Ross to put some pants on in public!

Family from the "Old Country"

I had the most wonderful surprise this morning when I opened my email. I had a message from a relative of mine that lives in Norway! How wonderful! When I first looked at it I almost deleted it because I didn't recognize from who it was and I just thought it was spam. Thank God I didn't!

My relative wanted to know if I would like to correspond with her and her daughter who must be close to my age. It brought tears to my eyes to think that they were interested in the same thing that I have been for so many years. I just have never been able to get in contact with the right person that wants to keep in touch also.

Those of you that know me have all teased me a time or two over being Norwegian. Yes I am full Norwegian though American born. My grandparents on both sides came to America in the early 1900's. They were tough people and lived hard lives here on the plains of the north central area of the United States.

When my grandparents left their homeland they left knowing that they may never get to see their families or their country ever again. It is sad to think what it was like for them having to experience life in that way. We in this day and age never really think about those things as we travel around the world.

I am very excited about getting to know my new found family and await the next correspondence that I receive from them. With all the new technology available in the world today it has made this a much easier, quicker way of keeping in touch, unlike awaiting a letter from the "old country" that often took months to receive......

Signed..... Mrs. Montana Conservative

In Memoriam: Grandma

My grandmother passed away leaving her struggles behind on Thursday, March 29, 2007 while recovering from heart surgery in our hometown's nursing home. As a family we had been living with what became the year of medical intervention. My dad received a new liver and brand new life this past November and on the very day his transplant procedure took place his mother was hospitalized and remained under medical supervision until her death a few days ago. Do you remember the old Bible verse, "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away?" As far as I was concerned, he had some explaining to do regarding the tenet of fundamental fairness. Although Grandma struggled to regain her strength and especially the ability to take full and normal breaths, by all accounts she was well on her way to mending and regaining at least an acceptable quality of life. I got the call about 12:25 am this past Friday morning from my mom and she told me a member of the nursing staff found that Grandma peacefully slipped away shortly before midnight.

Anger manifested itself as my principle response in the days leading up to her funeral. You cannot just "pass away" without permission and certainly not without saying goodbye to me in an acceptable fashion. There were at least five or six games of pinochle and rummy left to play and more laughs about the old days and the old memories before the sun finally slipped below the horizon. I wasn't 100% sure who to blame this tragedy on but by God someone must answer for the sadness inflicted upon the family. My wife, sister, and I packed up and headed back home and joined the rest of our family in preparation for the memorial service. With honor I accepted the opportunity to be a pallbearer at her service and also speak about some memories written down on notebook paper by her grandchildren and others in the family. My cousin Jacob and I took to the podium and read the fond memories in front of the many mourners gathered at the church. About halfway through our presentation it finally hit me.

Grandma never really had an easy time of it. She and her siblings were born and survived on little or less within a landscape of desperate nothingness in what was loosely coined the Sand Creek community. Her father seemed at best to be a roustabout Irishman with a penchant for bootlegging illegal shine. He passed away very early in her life as did an older brother who died while building the Fort Peck Dam during the Great Depression. Even after marrying Grandpa and raising five kids on that dusty hill's sheep ranch in Dawson County, life remained arduous. Snowstorms, sickness, packing water in pales, outhouses on minus 30 degree mornings, milking cows, feeding sheep, wringing laundry, rattlesnakes, drought and five kids does not make a good vacation brochure.

But that is the point. Her children and their children and their children in turn were her life. The strength she possessed and the resolve to carry on even in the worst of times made her life as valuable or more valuable than any oil tycoon, President, or Nobel Prize winner. She is a part of all of us and that twinkle in her eye is the same twinkle I see in my sister's new baby. Life in this world seems no picnic but her constitution and affinity for laughter and family is the core strength passed down for the future generations in our bloodline. The struggles and heartaches come and go but we'll all be together for Christmas this year. Grandma's wisdom came from conquering adversity. Her life was good because she loved and received love in return. She never had money or material possessions but none of that mattered to her in the least. She had her priorities straight and the life lessons learned from analyzing her worldly outlook and the fond memories serves as the basis for living. Laugh in the face of turmoil and pull those close to you even closer. Argue about what is right if you must but leave with a hug and a smile. The coffee will be on when you come back.

I confidently say there is really nothing to be mad about anymore. In her last hours and minutes of peaceful sleep I see a smile pursing her lips as she dreams about the memories of her life and legacy. She watches her twins crawling around in that old farmhouse. Dad and Judy ride Scout and Comanche bareback across the vast expanse of prairie. A young LeRoy chases that old dog down past the weathered granary towards the sheep wagon parked in the tall prairie grasses. I'll miss her greatly but more than anything I need to thank her for the gifts and life lessons imparted on me. I need to learn to pass the gift on as graciously as she did for me.

Until we meet again Grandma......