Barack and Hillary woo Montana Democratic Faithful in Butte, Missoula

The Democratic Party hosted both of their candidates for the office of president in Butte yesterday to the cheers of thousands of supporters. Barack Obama included an earlier stop in Missoula Saturday morning. On the positive side the spectacle brought Montana national recognition and did create its own historical context because it included both candidates that currently engage in verbal fistfighting desperate to obtain the Democratic nomination. I think it's also kind of neat that as far as the Democratic primary process goes, Montana closes the primary season as it's the last one to close its polls on June 3rd.

From news reports I've obtained both candidates stayed on message. George Bush is bad and government will take control and heal your wounds if I'm elected. Fair enough; those have been the talking points in stump speeches since the Iowa caucuses. Barack continues a masterful charm offensive while enthusiastic crowds roar in approval even if his message contains little in concrete detail and relies heavily on glittering generalities. Hillary takes the stage like the mad little woman she is; she's still upset that no one but she and Bill understand that she's entitled as a Clinton to have the office of president delivered to her much like the monarchy in England. Hillary obviously stares at the nomination much like Sir Edmund Hillary (no she wasn't named after him, she misspoke) stared at Mount Everest while standing at its base. Even in Montana I feel the winds of change blowing. The state could vote in the Democratic category this fall and hasn't done so since swaying for Bill Clinton in 1992. Barack Obama will be the Democratic nominee even though Hillary will pull out all the stops before finally if ever conceding defeat. A vicious political machine like the Clintons maintain won't sink of its own accord. In good old Montana terms, Hillary is a raccoon in a creek being closely pursued by bloodhound Barack Obama. I've seen a coon push a hound's head under the water in an attempt to drown it. I am thankful that all the infighting will benefit John McCain this fall.

Montana voters maintain an independent streak and don't usually adhere to their parties in lock step fashion and thankfully that makes us unique. Most Montanans I know, Democrats included, generally maintain somewhat of a conservative outlook on social issues but may drift left on economic and other issues. We have a Democratic governor and two senators. Our single representative is true blue conservative through and through and his success or failure in reelection this fall will serve as an accurate indicator in gauging if the state in its entirety has moved decidedly left. Senator Jon Tester defeated long time incumbent Republican Conrad Burns in the last election based in no small part on a smear campaign alleging close ties between Burns and convicted lobbyist Conrad Burns. Whether it was time for Burns to go or not, Tester is lucky to be in office after being elected on false pretenses.

I would have loved to travel to Butte to see both Hillary and Barack speak to the thronging masses. However I'd already scheduled some time to shampoo my plants and I simply had to prioritize. When I found out it cost $40.00 to purchase a ticket for entry I decided that money could be better spent on driveway de-icer and some items from the dollar store. I still find myself chapped to know how many of the blue collar common folks fall in line with both Clinton and Obama. That whole representation of the common man is a train load of crap big enough to fertilize the Mojave. Bill and Hillary earned $109,000,000.00 in the last several years and they still won't divulge donor records from his presidential library because trust me, they don't want you to know who's on there. Hillary absolutely bashes corporate America in true Socialist fashion but how in the hell do we think Bill makes his big bucks? What do you think his money is made from? He's an "adviser" and "consultant" to corporate titans in Dubai. I wonder if there's any oil money associated with Dubai in the MIDDLE EAST. I'll let you decide. I hope it makes the supporters of Clinton happy to know that after making all that money off "corporate" interests (yes, Hillary's book publishers are corporate too) they still bilk the taxpayer for hundreds of thousands of dollars on secret service details and perks related to Bill's disservice in office.

Barack Obama's position relative to Hillary's is a little more tenuous when it comes to the general election against McCain. Barack's involvement with a racist religious organization, corrupt real estate mogul Tony Rezko, and a man once convicted for trying to blow up federal buildings may cause him some problems come November. Couple that with his relative inexperience in just about every category of leadership and I think it may develop into a perfect storm for him. His refusal to lay out black and white (there's been plenty of black versus white) details of his policy plans and more importantly how he plans to pay for them further adds to the intrigue. He's been labeled as the most liberal senator in the country. Even with his frenzied support now among his Democratic supporters, independents and Republicans may find themselves just as energized this fall to come out swinging and I mean swinging hard. He has mentioned nothing of substance to convince me he is little more than a populist demagogue that delivers eloquent speeches of questionable substance from within the confines of an empty suit. Even though the liberal mainstream media including the disasters of NBC, MSNBC, and CNN remain in the tank for him, the truth may in fact set him free. It may set him free from the constraints of winning the presidency.

One news report that troubled me came from the Missoula rally. As the reporter so poignantly set the mood, a supporter remained in the stands after Barack left the stage and wept. Yes, I said wept. I've cried before but not over an unproven politician that says nothing that hasn't been said at thousands of high school pep rallies across the country. It reminds of that scene from the hilarious airline spoof movie "Airplane." A woman finds out her flight is in trouble while strapped into her seat and starts panicking and wailing uncontrollably. She is driving everyone absolutely nuts and there is a line of people in the aisle wielding everything from pipes, baseball bats, and brass knuckles all too willing to quiet her unnecessary outbursts. If I'd been in Missoula after the rally, I may have been one of those people.

Have a great day.

Hillary is sure to become one mean badger.

As you can see I snapped this picture of an unhappy Hillary Clinton shortly after another one of her stunning primary collapses in Wisconsin, affectionately known as the "Badger State." (That is one hell of a metaphoric segway if I do say so myself.) Actually for you by the book science types out there the correct breed of vermin shown here is the "Marxist Badger." Whenever Hillary stands on a stage forcing herself to smile for the network cameras, smile at ugly mothers with ugly children, and smile with clueless wellwishers I can assure you my gag reflex simply responds uncontrollably. I've never seen a camera angle that actually captures her knee high jackboots. Come on now NBC, we know you love her but let's see the leather! Now that the nomination is slipping from her grasp not even the invocation of the superdelegate ploy saves her unless it is reported to me with great joy that the popular vote results have been thrown for another lustful Clinton power play. Take that Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson! The liberal fanatics would shred each other in riotous fashion which would play out sadly on our television screens. You have to admit it would be far more entertaining than an ultimate fighting or American Gladiator marathon. Hillary's corrupt and loose zippered husband's attempts to bolster his man-wife's campaign backfired because it simply reminded the American populace of the Clinton scandal machine and 25 years of misdeeds and power addiction. Luckily enough for the far-left faithful, frontrunner Barack Hussein Bin Laden Obama can arguably be seen as the most liberal candidate the Democratic Party can offer up on its pyre of deceptive lies and fascist ideology. Yes I said fascist because isn't it interesting that the Democratic candidates are the only ones that tout the state's control of most everything central to the operation of the country on a daily basis. The rank and file Democratic Stalinists are simply abuzz with excitement at the prospect of not just one but two wonderful candidates with visions for making the state or your adherence to its directives all encompassing. Hooray! Hooray! Government programs and redistributed income for everyone! If that fails, we'll just create another government program to fix that one and another one for that one until maybe with any luck the United States government will employ a majority of American people like well trained robots. We'll pay 50% income tax to feed the machine and for once we can all be equal! Laugh now but it's coming.

So Hillary loses and slithers back to her hole in New York, then what? Barack "I went to a radical Islamist school as a young man but have forgotten to bring it up" Obama easily captures the White House in November running against an angry old white guy that has no chance against vile and vicious media smears by liberal activist organizations like the New York Times and NBC News. Hordes of indoctrinated followers will camp on lawns in Washington D.C. and at the National Mall after Obama's inauguration. They follow him because he promised change in glowing terms with the deepest of emotional sincerity. He didn't promise much else on the substance end but he did promise change. Specifics on policy apparently serve no purpose to the modern voting bloc of apathetic and uninformed Americans now comparing Obama to JFK. I'm not sure what positives made JFK such a revered leader either other than he was a young man taken tragically by an assassin's bullet. I think Obama supporters must postulate the following: "Man, life is so hard I'm just glad that Barack came along to CHANGE circumstances for me. I just can't cope and he'll TAKE CARE OF ME and that makes him just the greatest. Have you heard him speak? I don't remember what he said but he said it so eloquently. He said the government is going to provide healthcare paid for by all of us at large. Can you pass the fries with that burger?"

We are in a mess and this Republican administration has left loyal conservatives like me behind. Couple this with a preoccupation of style over substance and I have no doubt in my swelling mind that Barack Obama will be the next President of the United States. I guess looking on the bright side, his four years in office will probably destroy liberalism as we know it if we're around to reap those rewards. Apparently Barack has a fondness for his old buddy in Iran. He wants to sit down and acquiese and capitulate to madmen in Iran, Syria, and North Korea. Terror will again gain a strong foothold due to our cowardice. All of America is wishing for an Obama presidency. Dear God be awfully careful what you wish for.

Hold on till we meet again. By the way, have you noticed that your morning coffee seems to have more flavor or maybe a "Barackness" to it since his stunning rise to the top? I was just wondering.

Barack Obama? Could Hillary be right? I shudder.

I must not be completely rid of my recent bout with influenza yet. Apparently during a moment of viral haze I wandered into the garage and consumed either weed spray or really old paint chips. I actually agree with Hillary Clinton! The conservative voices alive and dead that so delicately formed my social and fiscal outlook must be spinning in the grave or at the very least choking on their Rainbow Stew. Hillary Clinton, the great socialist Satan and me the great right wing nut job in agreement? If I had the poison pill I'd probably swallow it.

As Hillary finds herself behind in the delegate count this week and more importantly further behind in the momentum count, the gloves are coming off her bony pointed fingers. Basically Hillary and I agree on one substantive point regarding Barack Bob Shiny Pants. Barack's message and leadership skills are based on what? Yeah that's a cricket chirping and a pin dropping. Oh no, the room goes silent. I've been saying it for some time because early in the primary process I didn't really believe Barack had a legitimate shot at the Democratic nomination. Barack is all snake oil and no substance. I think he enters a speech event full of doe-eyed elitists that want to feel so good about themselves for electing the first African American president that they forget to ask themselves if he's qualified. We'll get back to the race thing in a minute.

What exactly is it about old Shiny Pants? He's a nice looking guy and talented speaker or "communicator" but what is he communicating? I can guarantee you he is passing along nothing of substance. I want to change Washington, I want to change our place in the world, I want to change underwear. My God people you're electing the leader of the free world here not the next American Idol. Oh wait, he's a lawyer. That's good news. So is Hillary and her corrupt significant other the one and only old "Slick Willie Magic Zipper." Lawyers are at the root of all evil that is the modern House of Representatives and Senate in Washington D.C. What else qualifies Barack? He's such a great communicator in reaching out and touching our soul. Yeah? Lassie reached out and touched my soul when she found little Jimmy in the well but I didn't run out and paint "Lassie for President" signs either.

Has Barack sponsored one piece of legislation during his extensive 18 month iconic career of serving our country as a senator? The answer is no. If you want to elect a token "communicator" to make yourself feel good and warm as most liberals crave, why not elect Denzel Washington? I mean Denzel got an Oscar for his role in Training Day and if ever a token award was given that was it. What about this race thing anyway? Why is Barack for all intents and purposes to be the first African American nominee, he's half white isn't he? Couldn't I just as easily call him a white candidate as a black one? Why is the black now more important than the white?

If you're a Democrat and want to vote true conviction vote for Hillary. Even if she's wrong about nearly everything and would like to create a Politburo in Washington at least she's got real substance even if that substance is medieval and deadly. If you're bent on voting for Barack because he's mixed race and that would make you feel damn good about yourself you better think about what you're doing. I don't care if he's been voted the most liberal senator in America. What has he got to offer all of us in this time of war against radical Islamic fundamentalism? Sadly he has nothing and I'm afraid his supporters are too infatuated with his Hollywood traits rather than even the most meager substance and that friends will certainly cost us all in the end.

I'll see you all soon.

In 2008 This Train Is Running Off the Tracks

I like to claim I haven't been alive long enough to make the often heard claim "never in my entire life" because the entirety of my life length is not that spectacular. However, with much regret I am saying that never in my entire life in this country has an important election like this one been represented by the worst possible array of so-called top tier presidential candidates. I mean Good God friends and neighbors. Just pick your head up from your plate of spaghetti or your favorite evening sitcom and spend a couple of minutes analyzing the state of the world we live in. And just like Hillary Clinton I think you'll find, it ain't pretty. To condense our discussion within reasonable limits we'll discuss the two front runners on the Democratic side and the two front runners on the Republican side. Just calling any of these four putzes "front runners" leaves an acidic taste of bile in my mouth as if a dirty carp has been swimming in it. So goodbye to John Edwards the well groomed communist and Rudy Giuliani the old liberal who tried unsuccessfully to wear Ronald Reagan's skin like Bruce Wayne's bat suit. Hello to the remaining imitators of integrity.

As usual Hillary Clinton and her "bozo" bulbous nosed husband banter about like royalty at a swinger's convention. In their case he probably swings and she waits in the car. There is no doubt Hillary wants to revisit the disaster she attempted to inflict on us all through her expensive and chaotically doomed public health care program. State run health care in Socialist countries like Canada, Great Britain, and Norway function like a blind cab driver in New York. It is about government control and her control of the government. Do you get it? Tax the rich and redistribute that earned wealth to those that don't want to earn it. Seems pretty old school liberal to me. Penalize success and reward mediocrity because she's convinced mediocrity that she'll take care of them. And she will, with your tax dollars.

Barack Bob Shiny Pants Obama is hot on the cool coattails of Mr. Hillary Clinton. He is my favorite little Muslim in hiding. Notice that the liberal media doesn't allow any of us to discuss Barack's questionable ties to radical Islam during his formative years in Asia? What is Barack's message anyway? We need to talk with our enemies and bring our troops home regardless of the recent success our surge has had in curbing worldwide terrorism through the destruction of Al-Qaida in Iraq? What experience to you have there Shiny Pants? You're a slick talker in a well pressed suit but I maintain you lack any substance at all. Talk is cheap when your feet are to the fire. What have you done for us in the Senate? You don't deserve to be in this race.

The Republican Party apparently hasn't learned from its mistakes in its disastrous 2006 election. How much motivation do you need to right the ship after watching a pompous shrew like Nancy Pelosi and a cadaver like Harry Reid control the agenda for this country and getting absolutely nothing done in the meantime? And now the Republican choices for President are Mormon Mitt Romney and moderate to liberal to moderate John McCain? Barry Goldwater is spinning in his grave. Will the Republican Party abandon the very conservative underpinnings that differentiates it from the moderates on the other side? What happened to social and fiscal conservatism? What happened to our steadfastness in Christianity? The two Republican front runners seem to find themselves juxtaposed. McCain has in the past teamed up on legislation with the fat drunk liberal murderer Ted Kennedy. Did I use enough accurate adjectives? Did I tell you old Ted isn't my favorite? Mitt Romney is a flip-flopper of political convenience (as is McCain) and the antithesis of a Christian candidate. Where is McCain on immigration and the necessity of permanent tax cuts?

I never thought I'd say I may not vote for president when election day rolls around. And I know conservative pundits say I have to vote or else Hillary the Viper or Shiny Pants Obama will rule the Oval Office and how much fun would that be? Maybe that's what it will take to forcibly change course in the Republican Party. Politics has poisoned the pool so to speak and maybe suffering through a Democratic presidency that completely undermines the fabric of who we are and what this country stands for is the only choice. Maybe I'll take the "weather the storm" approach and move up into the mountains for a few years and live off the land away from television airwaves (or digital cables). Maybe when I slide down off the mountain top in four and one half years Hillary will have been impeached and a special election finds that old videos of Ronald Reagan have taken over to fill the remainder of her term. One can always hope!

Montana Conservative for President

The Democratic Party over the past 20 years embraces socialism and communism due to liberal influences, the popular swell of moral relativism, and extremist viewpoints. The Republican Party fades from its roots and embraces moderate viewpoints in both the social and fiscal arenas. I truly understand why some people call themselves independent. Rush Limbaugh once said it was intellectually dishonest to call oneself independent. I hope Limbaugh chokes on that cigar. In light of how both parties act and the grossly inept Congress that wastes our money and good faith every moment, there is really no other choice if one is to be clear-headed and free from the disappointing dogma of both the Republican and Democratic Parties. Rush, I'd rather be an independent than a droned dependent led astray because I'm content to accept the ramblings of a few in control of a political party. It just seems like we are destined to parallel the great fall of the Roman Empire.

I maintain a history as a registered Republican but consider myself an independent thinking fiscal and social conservative. That doesn't necessarily equate with the Republican Party anymore. I guess I'm one half Ron Paul Libertarian and one half Ronald Reagan hawk Republican. Notice they both have the name Ron? Scary isn't it. In modern times I think there is room for another party that fits my outlook. Let's see how to blend fiscal and social and conservative. I think I'll call it the Old Timey Party. That settles it.

In this most important 2008 election we are in deep trouble on both sides. On the Democratic side we have three possibilities. Hillary Clinton is a haggard and bogged down Washington insider that embodies corruption traded for power and where winning and maintaining a power base means everything. Barack Hussein Obama has absolutely no experience in doing anything but looking slick and using his looks and communication abilities to woo the sheep standing doe-eyed at his speaking engagements. He has no experience and as a Senator has sponsored no significant legislation on his own. His Muslim background concerns me. We haven't made it to this point in time based on the tenets of Islam. We've made it on Christian principles. Barack joined a Christian church because he had to. If that attitude is prejudicial, so be it. John Edwards is just to socially socialist for me. The government must be the controlling entity on Earth rather than individual freedom. The government controls the equality of all under its umbrella unless you're John Edwards. You then get to control the government and the citizens under its wings. Hello Uncle Stalin. Edwards is so disingenuous. I fight for the little guy from the lanai of my 40,000 square foot mansion that I obtained from suing corporations that provided millions of jobs for the people I claim I protect. Yeah right.

The Republicans suffer even more than the three disastrous individuals listed above. There simply is no one that embodies the ideals I hold sacred. Mitt Romney flip flopped on abortion, gay marriage, and gun control. Those are such deep and personal issues. To "change your mind" on those issues prior to running for President means one of two things. Your boat has been adrift for some time or you are a professional politician that is setting up to pander. Mormonism is an issue to me. More so than any other facet of who we are, our devoutness to our religion shapes who we are and what we believe in. No thanks Mitt. John McCain is more liberal than Joe Lieberman. John you're great on national security but horrible on everything else. You abandoned Christians in 2000 and the Mexican border in 2004. I think you'll find yourself abandoned in the end. Mike Huckabee has no foreign policy experience and questionable policies on taxes. I question his allegiance to strong American borders as well. He has a lot of baggage and some gaps in experience. Rudy is a New York liberal. I don't care if he was a successful mayor in America's biggest city. New York does not represent me or most of the rest of America. He is a liberal in a fiscal conservative hawk's clothing. Sorry Rudy I want the full package. Fred Thompson just can't get going. Maybe he doesn't want to. I'd hate to lose him from Law and Order anyway. Ron Paul is too Libertarian for me. A good conservative is one half Libertarian but with someone like Ron Paul the circle goes so far to the right it nearly touches the extended circle coming from the far left. And he's a gynecologist? Somehow a leader that is a gynecologist just opens us up for too many hind-end jokes worldwide.

Therefore ladies and gentlemen you must elect me. I am not a lawyer, doctor, or Washington insider. I have not been raised in Washington or grown up in a family where politics was a way of life. I've dug a ditch and built a fence and earned rough hands. (Al Gore, can you hear me you lifelong cheese puff?) What's wrong with electing common people that make this country to high office? Why do we fixate on electing people that break this country instead?

The 2008 Frontrunners, It's Either Fun or Tedious

REPUBLICANS-

Rudolph Giuliani- Rudy leads the pack in the race to romance Republican voters after President Bush and the previous Congress destroyed the opportunity to hold its power base after the 2006 mid-term elections. According to the mainstream media, the Republicans failed to make significant gains against global terror in the great goat paradise known as the Middle East so a power shift ensued. Rudy will not easily sway the "far right" because of his pro-abortion, gay rights, and gun control stances. There is a school of thought that believes his social leanings may bring in some independents and moderate swing voters. The sale of souls to the Devil begins! If Rudy wins the multi-primary race and the nomination one of two things can happen. He will either split the Republican vote and someone like Hillary Clinton and her Socialist agenda take control or conservatives will grudgingly line up behind him and vote because after all he is better than the Antichrist. Rudy will have to grow some extra hair to cover that massive portion of frontal forehead he so prominently displays. On television I can watch the entire political debate on his head and that scares me.

John McCain- I like John McCain but he too read John Kerry's book on how to be a flip-flopper. He is twisting in the wind like a kite in the storm of public opinion and much like Hillary Clinton, doesn't think any of us notice. McCain has long in my estimation supported amnesty for illegal immigrants and that surely chaps a majority of conservative voters. On the other hand and the stronger hand, McCain understands the significance of the fight against warped and murdering fundamentalist Islamic Jihadists (enough adjectives?) and that puts him near the top as far as candidates touting strong national security goes. Sometimes I think he regresses back to the jungles of Vietnam where he so honorably served his country and sacrificed through his suffering as a POW. He is a true American hero but does that forced smile through clenched teeth alarm you like it does me? I can see him as President coming to a press briefing in the Rose Garden dressed in full battle fatigues and carrying an M-16 and a belt full of frag grenades. Couldn't you just see him lobbing a flash-bang in the direction of NBC's David Gregory during one of Gregory's biased and slanted interrogations of McCain at the podium? One word for you. Flashback.

Mitt Romney- Romney looks cast for the role of President straight out of a Hollywood talent agency. He is well spoken and apparently made some great strides as Governor of Massachusetts. A Republican governor in the belly of the liberal beast? He must have won the election on the afternoon of St. Patrick's Day or something. Romney carries two pieces of political baggage that will get heavier as he approaches the modern plethora of early primaries. He will be labeled by social conservatives as a Kerryesque "flip-flopper" on the issue of abortion. I supported it once but saw the light and now dislike it because it is unpopular with my party's base voters and so on and so forth. I think there is some genuine distaste among traditional Christians in that Romney adheres to Mormonism. As the campaign progresses I can bet his polygamy jokes in public will come to an end. Romney is still in the running.

Possibilities- Newt Gingrich (former House Speaker and brilliant man, a lot of trouble with a malfunctioning zipper though. Conservatives may not be able to support him if they practice what they preach).

Fred Thompson- Former Senator and current actor. It worked for Reagan didn't it? Thompson is a popular choice, is intelligent, and has experience. Besides if it got too bad under his rule, we could pretend it was just one of his movies.

DEMOCRATS-

Hillary Clinton- The very image of Hillary Clinton repulses me to the point of developing hives. In the interest of fairness and equality I will put those prejudices aside and report as accurately as I can. Hillary believes in a government so large it outnumbers the country's population. She once mentioned that capitalism cannot run "unfettered". Can anyone else say Karl Marx, Stalin, or Lenin? She wants to tax me more because she believes she can spend my money more wisely on issues she and her cronies deem more appropriate. The Democrats believe in sticking up for the little guy? I think she believes in sticking up the little guy for sure. Hillary like other hippie-era moral relativists believes in gay rights, gun control, and partial birth abortion or in more chic terms "womb vacuuming." I don't wish Hillary ill personally but do hope she develops a case of intestinal diarrhea so severe that she simply must leave the podium during debates to take care of the issue therefore relieving the public of being inundated by her smarmy tones.

Barack Hussein Obama- This is like voting for class president in high school. Barack is wealthy, handsome, and very well-spoken. Isn't it funny that rich nominees and candidates in this party always speak for the poor guy? Is he going to write all of us a check if elected or tax the people even more? Barack has no experience and a laundry list of supporters with questionable backgrounds. I think if Barack won the Presidency it would take him several months to find his way around basic government principles. He promotes dialogue and reactionary defense versus strength and pro action in this modern and very dangerous world. I hope he writes a book called, "My 18 Month Journey of Learning and Rise to the Top."

John Edwards- John looks too perfect to be President. John advocates taxes, cowardice abroad, and supports every abominable secular position on social issues just like the others in his party. John made his millions off the backs of those that make our economy tick and tells us there are two Americas. There is a rich America that he lives in and a poor America that I live in. He wants to help me by taking more of my taxes thus making me poorer and government richer. He will also decide who to forward my tax money to because he believes I am not capable of properly using the money I worked for. I doubt he will invite me to his palatial mansion to prove to me just how much he supports me. I don't think my old pickup with the dents in the side fits very well in the driveway at his home. I think his estate is so big you have to get a helicopter ride from the parking area to the front door. We saw his positions when he ran as Herman Munster's vice presidential candidate in 2004 and we know how that turned out. He is clearly a third place runner right now in George Soros' Democratic Party. Besides, I heard a news crew lost two cameras during an interview with Edwards when his dimples sucked two of the devices and their operators inside.