To Be or Not To Be a Worry Wart

I've never really been a big fan of stabilizing my life with man's pharmaceutical inventions but lately I've been wondering if the things I think about a lot need a dose of Prozac or perhaps I just need a swift kick in the butt to put things in perspective. Yeah, I know. I need the latter.

1. Global Warming- It's supposed to be 103 degrees here today and that would set a new record for this date. I must apologize to Al Gore because I thought he was a fraud rather than the savior of mankind. But alas wait. Global warming as he describes it is still an alarmist make you crawl under the bed and hide hoax. The Earth was warmer during the Medieval Period long before the manufacturing industry began spewing sulfur and carbon dioxide skyward in a dastardly attempt to ruin the Earth by providing jobs and economic growth so that ordinary people could survive. The earth's temperatures have risen infintismally since the 1970's "mini Ice Age" but neither Gore or his cronies will debate if man's contributions to carbon dioxide emissions actually affects the less than 1 degree rise in temperatures. He doesn't want to answer the tough questions because the republic's whole purchase of his theory in lock, stock, and barrel fashion would seriously erode his power base and thirst for "Global Popularity." At any rate, to those of you hopelessly hanging on every word Al says, just get a kiddie pool and fill it with 2 to 3 inches of water. The crisis will pass I promise.

2. What Illegal Immigration Side Effects?- While the dismal failure of our elected leaders in Washington continues to cause a slight rash on my posterior, it is their failure specifically to address border security that causes the most severe cardiac palpitations. Get a taste of how stupid we really are. An illegal immigrant is arrested twice for felonies. The arresting agencies do not make contact with Customs or Immigration. It gets better. He is released. Oh yeah, then he goes and kills a deputy sheriff in Wisconsin. Yes, all illegal immigrants are direct descendants of Mother Theresa and only want to be part of our culture. At this rate we might as well give up and concede defeat. I think maybe we all should start learning how to speak Arabic or Chinese. As weak as we've become as a society it is only a matter of time before a focused power topples us like a moldy wedding cake.

3. George Bush, a boob- Yeah I said it. I'm a conservative but not a lap dog for the Republican Party and I do try to think for myself. Why doesn't everyone else in mainstream media circles try it just for fun? What you don't hear is that every other liberal presidential candidate seeking the White House in 2008 maintains a large "boob" factor too. We have Hillary Clinton the antichrist. She can't wear short skirts anymore because her handlers are afraid the fact she is more endowed than her crooked husband may be exposed during a press conference when she insists on attempting to crucify someone else's regional accent. Barack Obama is a cartoon with no idea on how to sell you on his lack of experience. "Barack Bob Shiny Pants" is fitting I think. Bush didn't have any real experience either except that his father did occupy the post rather quietly for four years. Mitt Romney is strange like that weird "petting" uncle you once had. Republican hopeful John McCain maintains a clenched grimace and a "Charlie's coming in from the jungle" flashback smile that may result in the gunning down of at least three NBC reporters before the primary season ends. David Gregory, I suggest you remain seated in the chair at the rear of the press gathering. The point is to think for yourself and believe nothing you hear on network news or read in the papers. Subscribe to the New York Times or the L.A. Times only if you can't find a reasonable sale on toilet paper elsewhere. Watch the news and read the papers for entertainment purposes only. Reporting the news in a fair and accurate fashion died in the early to mid sixties and it is gone for good. Form your own opinions and do your own research utilizing the melon atop your shoulders. Consider modern news in the same league with "Desperate Housewives."

4. Pet Abusers- I know that pets are animals and have their place of importance somewhere far below the human level but good Lord. Some guy named something like Pompeii Geraldo Rodriguez Lupi Javier Rodriguez Rodriguez dragged a puppy alongside his SUV until stopped by police. Let's call the guy Bill. So anyway Bill drags an innocent creature, just a pup no less, until it is nearly dead. When stopped he is asked if he is going to take the animal to be treated for its injuries and he says no. He is arrested and taken to a jail where at this hour he is probably watching HBO in the cell on the taxpayer dime. If Bill can do this to a harmless puppy, just think of what he could do to a human with interactive social and cognitive skills. He could really think of something abusive to do to it. I'm not in it because I care anything about the animal rights movement but beware of those that take great joy in being cruel to innocent animals. They tend to be even more violent to humans with functioning brains. When I was a cop he was the kind of guy I wanted to get the facts from, handcuff, and leash to the back of my SUV for a little session along a dirt road and maybe a safflower field. I think I lacked the compassion to be voted most "inspirational officer."