Goofier Than a Peach Orchard Boar

Yes indeed, I too watched in dismay as Tom Cruise spewed the most wretched and nonsensical hogwash in the "leaked" Scientology indoctrination video. "Paging E.T., a telephone call from Mr. Cruise." Only a Hollywood heavyweight like Cruise could accept any of the fundamental tenets of Scientology as believable. I think those of us with rational viewpoints understand Scientology for what it is, a kind of loony quasi-reality held in close quarters by a few of Lalaland's misguided and tragically simple elite. Scientologists hold as part of their dogma a spiteful disdain for the psychiatric and psychology disciplines. Gee, what a shock I couldn't tell. I'm sorry Tom but watching you in "real" life away from a make believe movie set is even more fantasy than when the cameras are rolling. Even if Scientology's founder the late L. Ron Hubbard could see Cruise, he may be calling for some Paxil to be prescribed for Tom's benefit.

It is down right scary to see how brainwashed Cruise is. Freedom of religion is one thing but I maintain the right to criticize craziness for what it is. "Tom, yoo hoo, you're crazier than a pet coon. Try to focus on what I'm saying and stop drooling." Scientology certainly isn't "religion" as defined by those of us living on Earth but it is rather a science fiction organization sort of like an all chimp Bible study on Planet of the Apes. I mean in one respect Hubbard is a genius because Scientology came about as the direct result of a bet that Hubbard made while sitting stewed in a bar in the early 1950's. Hubbard basically bet he could put a pen to paper and compose the most mindless drivel in which nothing means something and some wacko like Cruise needing something of substance in his life to latch on to would pick it up and run with it not understanding that it was all a big joke and completely meaningless matter. Great goof L. Ron!

Scientology maintains "religious" status for tax protection purposes only. They run it like a giant pyramid scam and its entire goal is to make money through sales of its study materials and other membership goodies in the goal of profit to power base. I do have to laugh at some of the more science fiction aspects of the quasi-religious cult. Thetans, SP's, KSW's, little martians with small hands and pointed teeth, and of course spaceships modeled after the late 1950's model DC-8 jet aircraft. I don't know what they are having for dinner at the Cruise residence tonight but please remember to take your little pointed tinfoil Hershey's Kiss hat off as you pass the microwave. And to think, we make Tom Cruise what he is by spending money to perpetuate his power, wealth, and craziness. Maybe Tom and old L. Ron aren't so crazy after all. "Doctor Cruise, beam me up with that little handheld bugger you used in Mission Impossible Three."

Alec Baldwin Personifies Hollywood Nuttiness

Why discuss the particulars? Baldwin's unfettered and maniacal rage directed at his prepubertal daughter received national airplay at several outlets and became fodder for comedic sketches from here to Dover, Delaware. Do you remember when Baldwin nearly slid out of his skin when then House Judiciary Chairman Henry Hyde proceeded with the impeachment of Willy Clinton? Baldwin salivated over and worshipped Clinton much like the semi-retarded followers of David Koresh did at the Branch Davidian compound in Waco, TX several years ago. Not only does the American public bow in thankful anticipation to one of Baldwin's secular and frenzied left-wing political rants, we quiver in shock to find that he adheres to loon status in his personal life as well. I bet the diner where Baldwin, Sean Penn, Rosie O'Donnell, and Barbra Streisand meet for coffee and analytical comparative conspiracy theory class is awash with good times and quiet conversation. Now if we can get Tom Cruise to join in with his tin foil alien suit complete with pointed Hershey's Kiss foil hat, we have a quorum of Hollywood's most powerful and influential players. Even the mild mannered and peace loving Richard Gere finds himself with a warrant for his arrest after kissing an Indian actress in conservative India. Too bad you disavow the American way and your heritage Richard. The protections you protest and take for granted here keep you free and safe. I doubt Buddha will waddle to your rescue.

The Baldwin family mimics the Kennedy family to me. Wealth, power, and celebrity taken for granted and misused to the extreme. Baldwin's movie success (or at least past movie success) and elitist lifestyle are a gracious gift and apparently he feels no need to act responsibly either within his family circle or in front of the American public whose hard earned dollars made him rich. He complains about his ex-wife Kim Basinger's lack of coherence as a person and parent. Too bad she cannot act more responsible and sane like you Alec. Even your actor brothers find themselves inundated in petty crimes and substance abuse. Instead of counting your blessings you somehow believe that the celebrity platform equates to some sort of social legitimacy. You make Sean Penn appear as mild as a Methodist Sunday school teacher. Maybe you'll call for Robert Downey, Jr. to spearhead the war on drugs. It really seems it should be your young daughter that calls you and explodes in a tirade. At least her age and level of emotional development justifies the diatribe. I think her conversation to Alec should appear as follows:

"Dad, I love you but you are a wack job just like everyone else in my family. I have been a witness and victim to your temper and crazy verbal explosions my whole life. I make mistakes but I am growing up and learning as I go. I haven't exactly had the best examples set before me either. I think you need to spend a couple weeks at Trembling Hills and receive intense pharmaceutical interventions that I hope will bring you down to the level of at least Dennis Hopper. Why can't we just live with the gifts we've been given and give back a little, even if giving back means saying thanks and acting decent in public. I am so embarrassed by you and your actions. Mom is probably crazy too so why doesn't everyone leave the Hollywood life behind and focus on what's important like me and my growth as an intelligent and responsible human being? I know I have your DNA and there is really nothing I can do about it. So if you don't quit acting crazy I might as well start drinking and using drugs now. Then maybe we all can get along and be as goofy as outhouse rats. Bye Dad."