Am I Homophobic? Probably.

"It's fun to be at the YMCA, it's fun to be at the YMCA." Sorry but how can an image like this one not invoke memories of the Village People? There you sit laughing madly at the television screen during their very "open" performance. These nice nancing fellas found themselves captured on film at the Gay Pride Parade in New York City on June 24, 2007. I almost couldn't tell but the princess in the middle of this photograph pretty much gave it away. "Oh you stop it Scottie!" As a registered homophobic personality I rarely spend much time giving any creedence to gay rights issues because frankly I could care less. The gay and lesbian community pretty much forces you and I to know what their platform is whether you give a damn or not. Can you imagine the uproar of a heterosexual pride parade? Men and their wives or girlfriends dressed in casual attire marching through New York without having raided the wardrobe of the Rocky Horror Picture Show. The progressive secularists would descend like possessed raptors upon those traditional couples almost immediately railing against such a mean spirited attempt to force an agenda on those same sex hotties. Yes it's an example of a societal and journalistic double standard. The Gay Pride Parade in New York does little more than magnify the distance between homosexuals and those coined the "religious" right by the media.

Look close neighbor, those opposing homosexuality may not be as religiously right and crazy as the network and cable news anchors tell you. Most opponents are not religious at all but simply members of a mainstream majority. Yeah I know, since when did the majority in this country have any business in saying anything? Don't you know dummy, only subversive subcultures have their voices heard on the six o'clock news. Sorry Elton, even those that don't go to church on Sunday find homosexuality at the very least icky and most often flat out disgusting.

Now, do I stand out on a street corner with a sign extolling to gays in my area that the wages of sin is death? No I do not. If I did have gays I knew about in my neighborhood I certainly wouldn't waste my time trying to convert them to Christianity by ranting at them maniacally. Just because I'm a little obsessive compulsive I'd probably devise a thick metal butt pad to wear in the back of my pants that would just add that little extra bit of security that my wandering mind may require. I may have expressed my hope that the more vocally astute gays shut up and stay in the closet because no one would bring up the issue if it was kept private and held close to the vest. You know the old line. What you don't see can't hurt you. I have more class than that. I don't have to have TV cameras and news coverage to force my thoughts and beliefs on you.

I would venture a guess and say most people like me that don't support the fairy agenda pose little risk to the gay community because they never see us. I don't seek the spotlight that in essence forces them to hear what I have to say. They don't care anyway so why would I? Why can't the fag army do the same? Just continue believing not in Adam and Eve but Adam and Steve and we'll all live in harmony. Your hedonistic displays of guttural animalism during events like the parade do not make us respect your position but rather make us run to the toilet in a painful fit of giggle barfing. Yes it can happen at the same time.

The first gay couple I ever encountered did little more than possess me with morbid curiosity. They were a hand holding couple and happened to be African American men. The he-guy or male role player of the two was a big man dressed in a T-shirt and jeans like most other males in that area or demographic. His she-guy partner certainly took on the role of the loving wife-man or girlfriend-guy. Although the colors escape me after so many years I do remember a brightly colored woman's swim suit complete with leg warmers and white tennis shoes adorning this male-female hopeful. Even then my natural reaction was to take notes with my butt placed firmly up against the plate glass entrance of the establishment.

Listen to me please. I don't have any history of confrontation with anyone in the gay community. I am generally kind and receptive to everyone I meet as I would be to a gay person because if no one blurted out they were gay I wouldn't know the difference right? I'm heterosexual and keep to myself. Why can't you in gay land do the rest of us the same common courtesy? Staying in the closet has its advantages and benefits for everyone. We that feel homosexuality is an unnatural sin don't usually rail against what we can't see and hear, do you get it? Forcing your agenda on us by publicly displaying a skewed value system will only deepen the divide. If you want to have a philosophical argument continue gathering data to prove us wrong. Let's have a dialogue around a table in a civil and fact-finding way. When you convince me that an outie is an innie and that burying a bone in the backyard is natural even if reproduction from it is impossible, you will have really done something. I have heard the nature argument before but how come no one ever ventures into a cerebral argument? If someone is overweight they diet with willpower to change that destructive behavior. If someone is a kleptomaniac many times some limited therapy helps them in ceasing to rob the Ben Franklin blind. A dog wants to bark but a rolled up newspaper or bark collar changes the behavior. Someone needs to address this issue from a behavioral platform complete with testing analysis. Fair after all is fair. I'll catch you all later.

"YMCA, it's fun to be at the YMCA."