Saturday, April 05, 2008

The Pregnant Man Story: How Low Can It Go?

I just happened to be asleep in my chair the other day and when I woke from my snoring slumber this is what I saw on the television screen a few feet away. I am neither a fan or drooling supporter of demagogue Oprah Winfrey in any way, shape, or form but I did watch the show if only for reasons of morbid fascination. It was through bad luck only the television found itself tuned to the CBS frequency. We must preface the high points of this article with an underlying theme that holds true under most scientific testing and analysis. Stupid is as stupid does. I'm pretty sure I learned that same theory in biology and church. Who knew? Okay, this image is just flat-ass creepy and that is only the beginning of this bizarre and appalling set of circumstances. Let's run through the facts before I begin chastising this person with inappropriate and politically insensitive sarcasm.

First we should clarify that this is not a pregnant man at all. This is a photograph of Thomas Beatie formerly known as Tracy when he was a girl growing up in Hawaii. Before she became a he there were beauty pageants and boyfriends. How would you like to be one of those guys? You're at home having a beer with your buddies and Oprah comes on. Hey Bill, I used to date him. After throwing up for hours I picture these guys playing Russian roulette with a .357 magnum and bottle of Chivas Regal. At the very least we're talking about hours of painful psychiatric therapy and strong prescription medications. Yes, he is pregnant because he is really a she. Beatie is a transgender male. Although born a female and living as a female for most of his/her life, he noted that when he woke in the mornings as a female he felt like a man. So I hypothesize that he ran to Home Depot, bought a circular saw, and playfully engaged in a double masectomy masking the pain with several vodka and testosterone cocktails. Then he/she visited one of those adult playthings stores and purchased an appropriate rubbery phallus and glued it to a generally appropriate area behind the zippered gates. Some needle and thread and voila that pretty much sews this case up. (I couldn't help it.) That is truly interesting. Now we're back to having the right to act on our feelings regardless of the consequences. I've wanted to get up many times and head over to my neighbor's house with a four foot section of cast iron pipe and beat him and his property senseless when a party kept me up most of the night. The point is I didn't act on that impulse. Why is this any different? I would have hurt my neighbor and this pregnancy will certainly damage the growing child for life.

Beatie was quoted as saying being pregnant as a male doesn't define who he is. It defines you're a freak. End of that story. During Beatie's "transition" he chose to keep his internal female reproductive organs because he thought he may want a child but apparently not in his natural form of a biological female. How selfish and morally inept was that decision? It travels the same path as the argument I have with homosexuals adopting and raising children. If all established norms find themselves eviscerated under theories of moral equivalence, where do we timidly and tentatively form any baseline of decency even if only infintismal? Beatie is married to a middle aged woman with two grown daughters of her own. Her voice is deeper and mannerisms seem quite masculine if you're keeping score at home. Homosexuals and this transgender couple claim that their lifestyle is somehow the result of some biologic progression. It is naturally buried within an individual's DNA or so say the promoters of gaydom. Homosexuals won't define their actions as a lifestyle choice because they claim biology is overriding social norms. If biology is at the root of homosexuality and transgender science, why don't homosexuals agree that they simply can't have children because it falls beyond the borders of the natural science fence they put themselves behind? It is not natural or biologically possible for same sex couples to have children. Remember when gays hung their hats on the study that noted scientists believed some male sheep were gay? I could always tell because they were the ones at the feed trough wearing pink leg warmers. What if biology and personal choice spiraled out of control? What if everyone and everything became inclined naturally or otherwise to pursue same sex relationships. All species of flora and fauna become extinct. My point is that their argument is as ridiculous as what I've just noted. Same sex relationships and the desire for children violate the most basic of natural principles yet most fighting in the political arena for gay rights claim it is a God-given right to have your cake and eat it too.

I'm wondering how long it takes a scientist or doctor living in any old American town to skip down the street to a retarded neighbor's home. Some medical study will pay for the use of this unwitting person to breed a chimpanzee or gorilla. I wonder how long before Oprah aired that episode. Do you see my point? Maybe you have a person you know that wants to marry a goat or have sexual relations in public with his 1983 Buick Skylark. How can we accept one form of supposed biologic relationship based on progression and not others? I don't see how the train won't just steamroll off the tracks. Oprah noted in her interview with Beatie and his/her wife that this is a "new definition of what diversity means for everybody." Not for me Oprah. I am not filled with the absolute hubris that Oprah is nor will I cast such generalized statements in that glib fashion. As far as I'm concerned, if Beatie wants to have a baby as a transgender male he can just play the "natural" game to the end. He must deliver the baby as a male would if a male could. Let's see how Thomas/Tracy Beatie handles a rectal delivery. I imagine it would be something like passing a bowling ball or coffee maker. Maybe after that being pregnant won't hold the same nonsensical allure it does now. Instead of making high pitched squealing appearances on Oprah he'll be the lifelong spokesperson for Preparation H. It's just that silly.

Apparently we're traveling into uncharted territory. The lines are so blurry I'm afraid that any act can now be achieved regardless of personal accountability or social acceptance. The religion of science now replaces the very foundations we've built civilization on. There are no more norms and traditional values based on Christian principles. I quite think George Washington or John Adams would shutter uncontrollably. Those in my non-progressive conservative camp are now the established minority and our persecution will follow. Mark my words.

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