Hillary Clinton, January 31, 2008 Debate

Liar. Cheat. Windbag. Viper. Abortion. Posterwoman. Vile. Communist. Socialist. Codependent. Sneak. Thief. Venomous. Divisive. Control. Redistribute. Big. Government. Tax. Spend. Immoral. Dove. Coward. Irresponsible. Relativism. Hollywood. Forced. Healthcare. Decreased. Liberty. Terrorism. Danger. Dialogue. Mistake. Carrot. Failure. William Jefferson. Disaster. My Money. Gone. My Freedom. Evaporated.

Thank You and please BEWARE.

In 2008 This Train Is Running Off the Tracks

I like to claim I haven't been alive long enough to make the often heard claim "never in my entire life" because the entirety of my life length is not that spectacular. However, with much regret I am saying that never in my entire life in this country has an important election like this one been represented by the worst possible array of so-called top tier presidential candidates. I mean Good God friends and neighbors. Just pick your head up from your plate of spaghetti or your favorite evening sitcom and spend a couple of minutes analyzing the state of the world we live in. And just like Hillary Clinton I think you'll find, it ain't pretty. To condense our discussion within reasonable limits we'll discuss the two front runners on the Democratic side and the two front runners on the Republican side. Just calling any of these four putzes "front runners" leaves an acidic taste of bile in my mouth as if a dirty carp has been swimming in it. So goodbye to John Edwards the well groomed communist and Rudy Giuliani the old liberal who tried unsuccessfully to wear Ronald Reagan's skin like Bruce Wayne's bat suit. Hello to the remaining imitators of integrity.

As usual Hillary Clinton and her "bozo" bulbous nosed husband banter about like royalty at a swinger's convention. In their case he probably swings and she waits in the car. There is no doubt Hillary wants to revisit the disaster she attempted to inflict on us all through her expensive and chaotically doomed public health care program. State run health care in Socialist countries like Canada, Great Britain, and Norway function like a blind cab driver in New York. It is about government control and her control of the government. Do you get it? Tax the rich and redistribute that earned wealth to those that don't want to earn it. Seems pretty old school liberal to me. Penalize success and reward mediocrity because she's convinced mediocrity that she'll take care of them. And she will, with your tax dollars.

Barack Bob Shiny Pants Obama is hot on the cool coattails of Mr. Hillary Clinton. He is my favorite little Muslim in hiding. Notice that the liberal media doesn't allow any of us to discuss Barack's questionable ties to radical Islam during his formative years in Asia? What is Barack's message anyway? We need to talk with our enemies and bring our troops home regardless of the recent success our surge has had in curbing worldwide terrorism through the destruction of Al-Qaida in Iraq? What experience to you have there Shiny Pants? You're a slick talker in a well pressed suit but I maintain you lack any substance at all. Talk is cheap when your feet are to the fire. What have you done for us in the Senate? You don't deserve to be in this race.

The Republican Party apparently hasn't learned from its mistakes in its disastrous 2006 election. How much motivation do you need to right the ship after watching a pompous shrew like Nancy Pelosi and a cadaver like Harry Reid control the agenda for this country and getting absolutely nothing done in the meantime? And now the Republican choices for President are Mormon Mitt Romney and moderate to liberal to moderate John McCain? Barry Goldwater is spinning in his grave. Will the Republican Party abandon the very conservative underpinnings that differentiates it from the moderates on the other side? What happened to social and fiscal conservatism? What happened to our steadfastness in Christianity? The two Republican front runners seem to find themselves juxtaposed. McCain has in the past teamed up on legislation with the fat drunk liberal murderer Ted Kennedy. Did I use enough accurate adjectives? Did I tell you old Ted isn't my favorite? Mitt Romney is a flip-flopper of political convenience (as is McCain) and the antithesis of a Christian candidate. Where is McCain on immigration and the necessity of permanent tax cuts?

I never thought I'd say I may not vote for president when election day rolls around. And I know conservative pundits say I have to vote or else Hillary the Viper or Shiny Pants Obama will rule the Oval Office and how much fun would that be? Maybe that's what it will take to forcibly change course in the Republican Party. Politics has poisoned the pool so to speak and maybe suffering through a Democratic presidency that completely undermines the fabric of who we are and what this country stands for is the only choice. Maybe I'll take the "weather the storm" approach and move up into the mountains for a few years and live off the land away from television airwaves (or digital cables). Maybe when I slide down off the mountain top in four and one half years Hillary will have been impeached and a special election finds that old videos of Ronald Reagan have taken over to fill the remainder of her term. One can always hope!

Goofier Than a Peach Orchard Boar

Yes indeed, I too watched in dismay as Tom Cruise spewed the most wretched and nonsensical hogwash in the "leaked" Scientology indoctrination video. "Paging E.T., a telephone call from Mr. Cruise." Only a Hollywood heavyweight like Cruise could accept any of the fundamental tenets of Scientology as believable. I think those of us with rational viewpoints understand Scientology for what it is, a kind of loony quasi-reality held in close quarters by a few of Lalaland's misguided and tragically simple elite. Scientologists hold as part of their dogma a spiteful disdain for the psychiatric and psychology disciplines. Gee, what a shock I couldn't tell. I'm sorry Tom but watching you in "real" life away from a make believe movie set is even more fantasy than when the cameras are rolling. Even if Scientology's founder the late L. Ron Hubbard could see Cruise, he may be calling for some Paxil to be prescribed for Tom's benefit.

It is down right scary to see how brainwashed Cruise is. Freedom of religion is one thing but I maintain the right to criticize craziness for what it is. "Tom, yoo hoo, you're crazier than a pet coon. Try to focus on what I'm saying and stop drooling." Scientology certainly isn't "religion" as defined by those of us living on Earth but it is rather a science fiction organization sort of like an all chimp Bible study on Planet of the Apes. I mean in one respect Hubbard is a genius because Scientology came about as the direct result of a bet that Hubbard made while sitting stewed in a bar in the early 1950's. Hubbard basically bet he could put a pen to paper and compose the most mindless drivel in which nothing means something and some wacko like Cruise needing something of substance in his life to latch on to would pick it up and run with it not understanding that it was all a big joke and completely meaningless matter. Great goof L. Ron!

Scientology maintains "religious" status for tax protection purposes only. They run it like a giant pyramid scam and its entire goal is to make money through sales of its study materials and other membership goodies in the goal of profit to power base. I do have to laugh at some of the more science fiction aspects of the quasi-religious cult. Thetans, SP's, KSW's, little martians with small hands and pointed teeth, and of course spaceships modeled after the late 1950's model DC-8 jet aircraft. I don't know what they are having for dinner at the Cruise residence tonight but please remember to take your little pointed tinfoil Hershey's Kiss hat off as you pass the microwave. And to think, we make Tom Cruise what he is by spending money to perpetuate his power, wealth, and craziness. Maybe Tom and old L. Ron aren't so crazy after all. "Doctor Cruise, beam me up with that little handheld bugger you used in Mission Impossible Three."

Montana Conservative for President

The Democratic Party over the past 20 years embraces socialism and communism due to liberal influences, the popular swell of moral relativism, and extremist viewpoints. The Republican Party fades from its roots and embraces moderate viewpoints in both the social and fiscal arenas. I truly understand why some people call themselves independent. Rush Limbaugh once said it was intellectually dishonest to call oneself independent. I hope Limbaugh chokes on that cigar. In light of how both parties act and the grossly inept Congress that wastes our money and good faith every moment, there is really no other choice if one is to be clear-headed and free from the disappointing dogma of both the Republican and Democratic Parties. Rush, I'd rather be an independent than a droned dependent led astray because I'm content to accept the ramblings of a few in control of a political party. It just seems like we are destined to parallel the great fall of the Roman Empire.

I maintain a history as a registered Republican but consider myself an independent thinking fiscal and social conservative. That doesn't necessarily equate with the Republican Party anymore. I guess I'm one half Ron Paul Libertarian and one half Ronald Reagan hawk Republican. Notice they both have the name Ron? Scary isn't it. In modern times I think there is room for another party that fits my outlook. Let's see how to blend fiscal and social and conservative. I think I'll call it the Old Timey Party. That settles it.

In this most important 2008 election we are in deep trouble on both sides. On the Democratic side we have three possibilities. Hillary Clinton is a haggard and bogged down Washington insider that embodies corruption traded for power and where winning and maintaining a power base means everything. Barack Hussein Obama has absolutely no experience in doing anything but looking slick and using his looks and communication abilities to woo the sheep standing doe-eyed at his speaking engagements. He has no experience and as a Senator has sponsored no significant legislation on his own. His Muslim background concerns me. We haven't made it to this point in time based on the tenets of Islam. We've made it on Christian principles. Barack joined a Christian church because he had to. If that attitude is prejudicial, so be it. John Edwards is just to socially socialist for me. The government must be the controlling entity on Earth rather than individual freedom. The government controls the equality of all under its umbrella unless you're John Edwards. You then get to control the government and the citizens under its wings. Hello Uncle Stalin. Edwards is so disingenuous. I fight for the little guy from the lanai of my 40,000 square foot mansion that I obtained from suing corporations that provided millions of jobs for the people I claim I protect. Yeah right.

The Republicans suffer even more than the three disastrous individuals listed above. There simply is no one that embodies the ideals I hold sacred. Mitt Romney flip flopped on abortion, gay marriage, and gun control. Those are such deep and personal issues. To "change your mind" on those issues prior to running for President means one of two things. Your boat has been adrift for some time or you are a professional politician that is setting up to pander. Mormonism is an issue to me. More so than any other facet of who we are, our devoutness to our religion shapes who we are and what we believe in. No thanks Mitt. John McCain is more liberal than Joe Lieberman. John you're great on national security but horrible on everything else. You abandoned Christians in 2000 and the Mexican border in 2004. I think you'll find yourself abandoned in the end. Mike Huckabee has no foreign policy experience and questionable policies on taxes. I question his allegiance to strong American borders as well. He has a lot of baggage and some gaps in experience. Rudy is a New York liberal. I don't care if he was a successful mayor in America's biggest city. New York does not represent me or most of the rest of America. He is a liberal in a fiscal conservative hawk's clothing. Sorry Rudy I want the full package. Fred Thompson just can't get going. Maybe he doesn't want to. I'd hate to lose him from Law and Order anyway. Ron Paul is too Libertarian for me. A good conservative is one half Libertarian but with someone like Ron Paul the circle goes so far to the right it nearly touches the extended circle coming from the far left. And he's a gynecologist? Somehow a leader that is a gynecologist just opens us up for too many hind-end jokes worldwide.

Therefore ladies and gentlemen you must elect me. I am not a lawyer, doctor, or Washington insider. I have not been raised in Washington or grown up in a family where politics was a way of life. I've dug a ditch and built a fence and earned rough hands. (Al Gore, can you hear me you lifelong cheese puff?) What's wrong with electing common people that make this country to high office? Why do we fixate on electing people that break this country instead?

Let's Start 2008 Out on the Wrong Foot

Same old bullcaca compressed into yet another dreary day. Our journey with Britney is just one of the surreal topics we'll cover. Helicopters and paparazzi and breaking news sound bytes flood the airwaves lamenting this retard and her offspring. Stupid people really shouldn't breed. As an old English teacher told me once in between cynical puffs on a Pall Mall, "she's a perfect example of why some species eat their young." I'm glad Dr. Phil made his way to Cedar Sinai to evaluate the strung out and convoluted Ms. Spears so that he too has a chance to capitalize monetarily on the insanity by perhaps booking her miraculous recovery on his own afternoon show of domineering drivel. If you find it necessary to stay glued to the boob tube watching each turn and twist of Britney's SUV, then good luck navigating in your parallel existence.

How about the Marine that killed his pregnant lover who by chance happened to be a Marine as well. Apparently this semper fi love connection went terribly wrong. The suspected killer apparently got her pregnant during maneuvers on the monkey bars or in the mud pit. At any rate once he was informed of the pregnancy the fun seemed to kind of fizzle and the balloon deflated if you catch my drift. This tough-guy Marine, not wanting his legal wife to find out about his extracurricular duties in the Corp decides that killing this woman and their unborn child, burning them, and burying them in his back yard should suffice and end any controversy expediently and efficiently. Talk about don't ask/don't tell in the military. She had reported this guy for rape to Marine Corp officials but true to military protocol these kinds of issues are either covered up or put on the back burner until the event ends in tragedy and becomes a true media circus making the commanders at this base and the military in general look like inept and uncaring buffoons.

Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton are taking heated swipes at one another over race. Here's an idea for these two. Find an old cliff that was a buffalo jump for American Indians in years past. Since I'm a conservative it would be fair for me to be the referee. Line them up, blow the whistle, and the first one to run to the jump, leap, and hit the bottom wins. Settled. I am very disturbed that the mainstream media refuses to publicly discuss and critique Barack Bob Shiny Pants' past. He attended a Muslim school that is radically fundamentalist in Jakarta. His stepfather is a fundamentalist Muslim. His mother seems the most religiously stable and she was an atheist from Kansas. That won't make Toto too happy but not many atheists are strapping bombs to their flesh to make seagull food like the crazy fundamentalist Muslims do. We better watch Barack and make sure we're not attacked from the inside out.

Last but not least my beloved Pittsburgh Steelers were beaten during the wildcard round of the AFC playoffs a little over a week ago. My period of mourning is nearly over and the only answer is for me to be hired as the head of all football operations. I have a couple of great aunts that would be more than capable of adding improved blocking and pass protection for the quarterback than the current Steelers offensive line now delivers. Ben Roethlisberger is a great mobile quarterback that amazes when on the move outside the pocket but still holds the ball too long. Perhaps a little flash-bang device on the ball that detonates after 4 seconds would get the point across. Mr. Rooney, please draft at one point in my lifetime, just one time, a shut down cornerback over 5'6" in height. I'm not sure why the Steelers invested so little in the defensive backfield over the years but I am now quite sure that the last remaining Munchkin has been drafted and played out by the Steelers. Hire me, I'm serious.