Sunday, December 31, 2006

Happy 2007!

1. May all your dreams come true, especially those involving Heidi Klum.
2. May the Iranian dictator Mahmoud Ahmadinejad accidentally slip while inspecting a weapons facility, hit the red button, and be scuttled into the sea while riding a missile at 4000 m.p.h.
3. Peace, goodwill, and sharing among men. Unless I win the Powerball. Don't bother asking.
4. May Osama Bin Laden develop such a bad case of diarrhea that the unfortunate stains on his white attire become visible from outer space.
5. If Steelers coach Bill Cowher retires, please tell them to hire me. I know what I'm doing.
6. May the Republicans and Democrats work together to benefit the American people instead of themselves and special interests. Oops, I forgot. This is New Years and not April Fool's Day.
7. Would someone please just agree to pay me a wage for hearing my opinions?
8. May your blog find syndication.
9. Can anyone get me a gig on the O'Reilly Factor?
10. Seriously, enjoy your life, care for your loved ones, and always remember to floss after brushing.

Happy New Year!! Peace to you and yours!

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