1. May all your dreams come true, especially those involving Heidi Klum.
2. May the Iranian dictator Mahmoud Ahmadinejad accidentally slip while inspecting a weapons facility, hit the red button, and be scuttled into the sea while riding a missile at 4000 m.p.h.
3. Peace, goodwill, and sharing among men. Unless I win the Powerball. Don't bother asking.
4. May Osama Bin Laden develop such a bad case of diarrhea that the unfortunate stains on his white attire become visible from outer space.
5. If Steelers coach Bill Cowher retires, please tell them to hire me. I know what I'm doing.
6. May the Republicans and Democrats work together to benefit the American people instead of themselves and special interests. Oops, I forgot. This is New Years and not April Fool's Day.
7. Would someone please just agree to pay me a wage for hearing my opinions?
8. May your blog find syndication.
9. Can anyone get me a gig on the O'Reilly Factor?
10. Seriously, enjoy your life, care for your loved ones, and always remember to floss after brushing.
2. May the Iranian dictator Mahmoud Ahmadinejad accidentally slip while inspecting a weapons facility, hit the red button, and be scuttled into the sea while riding a missile at 4000 m.p.h.
3. Peace, goodwill, and sharing among men. Unless I win the Powerball. Don't bother asking.
4. May Osama Bin Laden develop such a bad case of diarrhea that the unfortunate stains on his white attire become visible from outer space.
5. If Steelers coach Bill Cowher retires, please tell them to hire me. I know what I'm doing.
6. May the Republicans and Democrats work together to benefit the American people instead of themselves and special interests. Oops, I forgot. This is New Years and not April Fool's Day.
7. Would someone please just agree to pay me a wage for hearing my opinions?
8. May your blog find syndication.
9. Can anyone get me a gig on the O'Reilly Factor?
10. Seriously, enjoy your life, care for your loved ones, and always remember to floss after brushing.
Happy New Year!! Peace to you and yours!
No comments:
Post a Comment